Blech...

Oh I don't feel good emotionally today. I just feel bored with everything...like everything is dull and colorless. I think I am in mourning for the loss of my hypomania and the "excitement" it brought with it. Yes, I know it's not a good state to be in, but in a state of hypomania everyone and everything is beautiful, and life is exciting...full of adventure. In hypomania, even cleaning the house is exciting...I miss the euphoria.

To top it all off, I'm self-medicating...orange juice with...ahem...additives. Argh, I just can't cope with this. When the hell am I going to feel normal again? Will I ever feel normal again, or at least less bored with life? This is taking a toll on my marriage too. As hard as it is on me, I think it's doubly hard on Gilles. I can see my illness slowly sucking the life out of him, and I hate it. Well, I just have to make sure to get the info about therapy from my Psychiatrist at our next appointment. I will not be a victim...damn it I will fight this, and I will win!

Tuesday..

Zach seems to be on the mend, but I am still keeping him home from daycare until I'm sure he's fully better. He's full of beans and buggerment which is a good sign.

Today I will hopefully tackle some much needed decluttering, as it is time to start thinking about decorating for Yule. But I can't decorate until I do a few things around here. It shouldn't take too long, but we all know I have a motivation problem, right? I think this year I will add a string of lights to the garland on the mantle since I now have a place to plug it in that's inaccessible to the children. Aside from that, the only other decorating I really need to do is to put up the tree, but it's waaaaaay too early for that. This is the first time in a long time that I'm looking forward to decorating; I guess having a 4-year old helps. For the past 2 years we didn't decorate at all, but this year there's no way we'd get away with that. Zach is already trying to draw multiple pictures of Christmas/Yule trees, and he keeps asking when we're going to decorate. Now I just have to figure out where we put the decorations!

Sickness...

Zach is still home from daycare... this bug he has is just not letting up! He still has the runs, but at least it's much less frequent than before. I think I will just have to get him to a doctor.

Luckily, Mykah is not showing any signs of being sick (knock on wood). Hopefully no one else will get this (although I might not mind it if it lets me lose a few pounds...kidding)

Well, it looks gorgeous and sunny outside, so despite Zach being sick, I think I will take the kids out on a short walk this afternoon...the fresh air will do them some good (and me too)

more stuff.

Well, I didn't get much else accomplished today. The daycare worker stopped by with Zach (they were out on their walk) saying he was complaining that he was very tired, and his ear hurt. He wanted to come home, so we let him. His mood perked up right away and he didn't seem so tired once we let him come home. It looks like he's stuck something in his ear, and I can't seem to get it out. I flushed his ear once, and I will do it again a couple of times tonight to see if we can get whatever it is to come out. Otherwise I will have to take him to the doctor for that.

Anyway, I got totally grossed out, and found out that Zach wasn't really feeling that hot when he rushed to the toilet for number 2, and couldn't make it. Yuck...all over the bathroom floor, all down his legs, all over the toilet, and the dehumidifier. Needless to say it took 2 hours, mopping the floor and washing above mentioned items 4 times to finally get the smell to go away. I nearly puked. Yuck.

Oh hell...

So I just finished a round of antibiotics for the leg thing, and part way through the treatment, my ears start flaring up, yet again. I'm starting to wonder if my ear infections are perhaps caused by an overabundance of yeast? Is it possible to have yeast infections in ones' ears? Well, my sister's nasty foot problem was caused by yeast, so why not? That would explain why I started getting these things with my first pregnancy, and it would explain why it seems to have been provoked by antibiotic treatment!

I also had the week from hell emotionally last week, and couldn't understand why until my sister checked my pill case on Saturday; we realized that I had missed taking my Paxil all week! I usually fill up the pill-case on Sunday morning, but when I did it last week, I only had enough Paxil for Monday. I had to refill the prescription, which I did, but I forgot completely to add it to the remainder of the week. Problem solved. At least there was a good reason for my feeling crappy.

On a brighter note, I feel great today. I actually got up and thoroughly cleaned the light fixture above the kitchen table, and I will do the ceiling fan in the living room when Mykah takes his nap today. I feel productive, and just generally well... YAY!

Brief Scare.

So I had my regular check-up with my doctor yesterday, and I was very glad it happened to be on that particular day, because I developed a weird rash on my leg, and it was a bit painful. The doctor took a look at my leg and was asking lots of questions, and then he proceeded to take out a pen and start drawing on my leg. When he wrote the date and time, I was like "OH SHIT!" He said it could only be a simple case of cellulitis (skin infection). However, we needed to be sure that the antibiotics he gave me would work, and shrink the infection fast. It was serious enough that he gave me overdose of antibiotics for day 1. He said, "If by tonight this hasn't gone down, or if it spreads at all, go straight to the emergency room, and give them this referral. I don't want to scare you, but we can't take the chance of it being "flesh-eating disease"".

Okay, so I was a little freaked out, and needless to say I was checking on the rash every 5 minutes. Thankfully the antibiotics are working. The redness has gone down a lot, and the leg doesn't even hurt as much as it did. Nothing like a scare like that to make you very grateful for the good things you have! Today, I am much more grateful for the people in my life, that's for sure!

Weird sick.

I have a fever, and yes, that's about it. It's really strange. I'm having trouble keeping warm, but apart from that, I feel fine. The fever was at 102 F yesterday, and this morning it's down to 100.6 F. I'm not even really achey or anything like that. The only other thing is that I do feel a little light-headed. But I'm still functioning!

Biggest task for today is to tackle Mt. Washmore.... it's all clean, I just have to fold the clothes and put them away...shouldn't be a problem.

But right now, I need more coffee!