Progress...

The past year has been a year of major progress for me in terms of physical and mental health.  I have been free of medications for a year now, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing very well.  Since this time last year, I have lost 55 lbs, and I hadn't even realized just how much of a physical transformation had taken place until I saw a picture of myself that was taken over the July 1st holiday weekend this year and then compared it with pictures taken over the same weekend in 2011.  And now I share them as a reminder to myself of how far I have come, and to encourage others that transformation is indeed possible.

ahhhhh... sometimes change is very, very good!!!!!

I really am what I eat...

It's amazing how much one's diet affects overall health and well-being! I have been slowly making the transition to eliminating red meat and poultry/fowl from my diet, but now I've cut it out completely! I haven't eaten meat in over a week, and the difference is astounding! Within only 2 days I started seeing a difference! My mind is clear and focused, my emotions are balanced, and my energy levels and motivation to do things... well, I'm keeping up with the housework without trying to clean the entire house in a single day. Whoa, I'm acting like a "normal" homemaker!

At this point, I'm not even willing to consume a single piece of meat, even if only to test my theory. I feel good without being in a manic state, and I am going to do whatever it takes to keep it this way. LOL... I think I'm going to make Sushi for Thanksgiving dinner!

Getting Healthier...

In the past month or so, my moods were getting unstable once again. However, in the two weeks leading up to June 20th, they started getting progressively worse (to the point where I was having mixed states, depression and mania; and I could cycle from one to another within minutes. It was to the point where I told Gilles I needed to be hospitalized, and he agreed, Luckily, I had an appointment with my Psychiatrist on June 20th. After explaining what was going on, my Dr. agreed. I was there from June 20th to the 25th.

It turns out that it was a good thing! The GPs who work in the Observation Area ordered a complete biochemical, hormonal profile bloodtest. That showed that although I don't have high Cholesterol, my HDL(good) cholesterol is way too low. On top of that, they found that I have an underactive thyroid. Also, when the Dr. examined my abdomen, I had two very painful areas on my left side (might be an ovary). So, due to that, and the fact that I've had no periods for 5 months now, I have a bunch of other tests to do; They're checking for something called hirsutism, and for polycystic ovary syndrome. I have a cerebral CT scan tonight, a chest X-ray tomorrow, a full medical exam on July 28th, and I am still waiting for an appointment for an Ultrasound of my abdomen and pelvic area.

Soup, Soup everywhere...

So, I'm slowly making dietary changes that include cutting down and eventually eliminating red meat from my diet... poultry and the like will come after, but one step at a time. Basically I want to get to the point of "no feathers, and no fur," as a good friend of mine puts it. Where it will go from there remains to be seen, but at least it's a start. It's partially a matter of choice, but my body seems to be forcing me to go in this direction too. I was raised in a "meat and potatoes" family... red meat at least 3 times a week. That had already begun to change over the years, but recently, my body is just saying, "ENOUGH!!!!!"

It was an accidental discovery, actually. Back in March, I think, I made a batch of carrot soup (we're talking 12lbs. of carrots, onions, potatoes, leeks, green onions, vegetable broth, garlic and spices depending on what flavour I'm looking for. Well, with Gilles working in Alberta... I often just made simple meals for the kids, and I hated cooking just for myself, so I was eating only carrot soup with legumes, some whole grain bread... very light. Well, without realizing it, I went more than a month without eating meat whatsoever. I've lost 24 lbs since January, and I felt really good the whole time I was off the meat. And let me tell you, I couldn't believe how much detoxifying my system did while I was doing that.

Now, I find that I really have to be careful if I do eat meat... and I just prefer to avoid it; sometimes just the sight of it makes me ill... and believe me, this is something HUGE for me... I really became aware of the change when Gilles was home and made bacon and eggs one morning (I used to pig out on occasions when bacon was made)... it smelled so good, but after 2 small pieces I had to stop or else I was going to be sick.

Yesterday, I made another big batch of Carrot soup, and I think I'll keep myself on my little "soup-diet" again for a few weeks. But I have got to convince Gilles to slowly let me take over the grocery shopping. I'm glad he's frugal with money, but in his zeal to pinch every penny he can, he refuses to buy anything organic, or total vegetarian for me. He says, "If we do that, our grocery expenses will go up 100%." Well, I won't put down exactly what I said to him, because it was rather nasty. But if he would look at the long term... it's a fact that a healthier lifestyle, and vegetarianism improves overall health... it would reduce long-term costs in terms of improving my health. It would make it easier for me to lose weight, and if I lose weight, our expenses for my medication would drop, because most of my meds are prescribed according to my weight.... less fat=weight loss=less cash spent on pharmaceuticals (and less cash spent on other OTCs because of problems caused by obesity)

Doing better...

So I am doing better emotionally, although I still could use some extra help in the life-skills area. I ordered a book on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and was relieved to discover that a large part of it is biological (meaning how chemicals and messages are processed in the brain). I was also relieved to find out that with therapy, it is possible to improve to the point where although I may still have a couple of BPD symptoms, I can reduce the symptoms where I would no longer be classified as having BPD. I will not use this diagnosis as an excuse to do stupid things, but at least now I know why my behaviour and moods have been so erratic and impulsive (don't forget, I also have Bipolar Disorder). But the BPD explains why I have the tendency to be extremely impulsive, cause harm to myself by scratching at sores, and my temperament can turn on a dime. I can go from adoring and idolizing a person one minute, to hating, loathing them the next. With BPD, a person tends to see things in Black and White, and can't see the shades of gray. An example given in the book I'm reading is "the normal person will think, I like John, but I hate it when he's late. The person with BPD will think John is a nice person when he's on time, but he's a jerk when he's late"