Christmas with Mom and the kids

We had a nice day, although pretty quiet. Christmas just isn't the same when my sister is not here. The kids loved their toys, though. And I hit the jackpot, because my hubby bought me season 1 & 2 of Gray's Anatomy.... I am so, so, so happy with that gift!

Overall I'm feeling better with just one slight problem. The Clonazepam that I'm taking to help with the anxiety does in fact help...but it makes me so drowsy it's ridiculous! I'm hoping my body will adjust to it or else we will have to find another solution!

Thank you!!!

Thank you Gods; with the help of my new medication, I actually had 8 hours of uninterrupted, restful sleep last night, and this morning I feel great! So "All hail the Gods of Flurazepam!" I feel good...I feel really good... I actually feel as if I will get things accomplished today. I'm so happy!

Good news and bad news...

The good news and the bad news is that I could end up going into a high over the holidays, according to my doctor. He's made some fairly drastic changes to my meds which will do me some good in the long run, but could send me slightly manic... Bring it on! I've been so depressed lately that a bout of hypomania would be a welcome relief for a change!

So I continue on the Paxil, I increase the Valproic Acid, I will be stopping the Risperdal and the Lithium, and he's added an anti-anxiety and an anti-insomnia

So overall it's good news, although I may drive my family nuts if I do go into mania... oh well, at least I'll have the energy to help out in the kitchen!

Fast approaching...

Oh yes, the day is quickly approaching. Around here we celebrate on the 25th, just because that's what everyone is used to, and our families do the Christmas thing. I will do my own thing for Yule tomorrow night. Anyway it really doesn't make a difference to me, because whether you do Yule, Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever, the main theme is basically the same or similar.

My son Zach is all excited for Santa Claus to come and leave him presents, and I can't wait to see the kids opening their presents on Christmas morning. They're both at a good age where they'll get all excited, ripping open the packages with squeals of delight....although knowing my boys, the squeals will be much louder...more like ear-piercing shrieks of delight. All the better.

Also, Zach is excited, because he gets two Christmases this year. One on the 25th at home, and one on the 31st at my Mom's. Mom will be coming out on the 25th to open presents with us, but my sister is in Michigan with her husband for Christmas this year, so we'll exchange gifts with her on the 31st. Zachy asks me every day when his TeeTee (my sister) will be home; he is very close with her and misses her fiercely. We're doing a count-down with him on the calendar for the days until she comes home, and it seems to be helping.

Finally...

I think I'm finally coming out of my latest funk. It's about time too, because it was getting pretty bad. Thanks to Aurora for her loving advice on my LJ site as it was very helpful!

Although my motivation to do things is still lagging, and least I am starting to accomplish a few small things again. I am however in laundry hell as I allowed it to get backed up... I think I will be folding clothes until Christmas. Hmmm... maybe that's a sign that it's time to purge wardrobes... well, we'll see; I'm not that ambitious yet. One day at a time, one hour at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time is what I need to focus on.

Poetry

Please forgive my feeble attempts at poetry. I'm experimenting with trying to find a creative means of expression for my crazy up and down emotions:

Help me for I'm falling fast,
I think my sanity will not last.
My mind wanders, goes blank, and hurts me;
the pain is too much to bear.

The elixer will help ease the pain.
The sweet nectar will make it better,
or at least make it so that I don't care.

I am reaching break-neck speed
and I don't know what waits for me at the bottom.
I'm sure my fate is not good,
and I will come out not unscathed, but broken!

My Weekend...

Okay, first of all, I'm depressed because it looks like I won't be getting Charlotte the Wolfhound afterall. She's such a sweetie that the people who are currently fostering her may decide to keep her... Yes, I was in tears when they gave me that news!

Apart from that, the weekend was pretty nice. My mom and sister don't let me any time to be depressed; they do their best to keep me busy. On Saturday, we went out to help decorate the church my Mom attends. I wasn't so excited at the prospect of that, but it meant a lot to my mom. Anyway, we ended up having a lot of fun...good food and good conversation! I decided I liked these people when I saw two bottles of wine on the table, and one of the ladies offered me a glass... heh heh.

Sunday was the Santa Claus Parade in Deux Montagnes, and we bundled up the kids and walked approximately 10 blocks to see the parade. Conclusion: I really need to get out and walk more, because the walk nearly killed me! The kids had a great time, the dogs froze. It was so funny. Goliath was so cold that my sister had to bundle him up inside her sweater. Poor Goliath.