Highly intelligent and cunning, these creatures prey on the mittens of distracted children. The Mutant Mitten Troll will patiently observe it's prey (all day if necessary) in order to find just the right moment to pounce and abscond with said prey sight unseen; at the time of attack the Troll emits a noxious gas, similar in smell to that of a child's fart in order to confuse and further distract anyone in the immediate area... in the middle of the confusion, he makes his attack swiftly and escapes. In most cases, the child won't even notice the mitten is gone until the end of the school day. Now having a mitten stolen by one of these trolls wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing except for the fact that the Mutant Mitten Troll can only survive by eating only right-handed mittens...left-handed mittens are poisonous to the Troll and so he avoids them at all cost. Therefore you see the problem that then ensues at home because of this infestation. Children are constantly coming home with only their left- mittens... their right hands remain exposed to the elements and risk frostbite all because of these Mutant Mitten Trolls. We must find a solution to this problem... the sanity of many parents, and the warmth of our Children depend on it.
Thank you!
5 comments:
Do you think the Mitten Troll may be in league with the infamous Sock Monster in all our household dryers???
Yes, I actually suspect that they share DNA. Challenge is that because these creatures have never been caught, genetic testing is an impossibility.
OMG!!! They have hit my kids schools too! This is driving me mad...MAD I say!!
Something must be done to end this plague of thievary amoung us!
They seem to like hats and yes....even jackets as well!
I say, if we can catch the sock monster, we can torture him, and make him tell us how to catch the Mitten Troll. Who's with me?
Woot!!!!
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